Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do
Eve Rodsky
A revolutionary, real-world solution to the problem of unpaid, invisible work that women have shouldered for too long. It started with the Sh*t I Do List. Tired of being the "shefault" parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family -- and then sent that list to her husband, asking for things to change. more
352 pages, Kindle Edition
First published G.P. Putnam's Sons
3.56
Rating
18645
Ratings
2409
Reviews
Eve Rodsky
14 books 239 followers
Eve Rodsky is working to change society one marriage at a time with a new 21st century solution to an age-old problem: women shouldering the brunt of childrearing and domestic life responsibilities regardless of whether they work outside the home.In her forthcoming book Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live), she uses her Harvard Law School training and years of organizational management experience to create a gamified life-management system to help couples rebalance all of the work it takes to run a home and allow them to reimagine their relationship, time and purpose.
Eve Rodsky received her B.A. in economics and anthropology from the University of Michigan, and her J.D. from Harvard Law School. After working in foundation management at J.P. Morgan, she founded the Philanthropy Advisory Group to advise high-net worth families and charitable foundations on best practices for harmonious operations, governance and disposition of funds. In her work with hundreds of families over a decade, she realized that her expertise in family mediation, strategy, and organizational management could be applied to a problem closer to home – a system for couples seeking balance, efficiency, and peace in their home. Rodsky was born and raised by a single mom in New York City and now lives in Los Angeles with her husband and their three children.
Community reviews
My wife and I have accidentally created our own little book club this year. We’ve read The Power as well as Catch and Kill at the same time, engaged in some pretty awesome conversations, and then she insisted I read Fair Play as well. Fair Play is written for a very specific audience, and it’s also written for women. More specifically, it’s written for moms, and, even more specially, it’s written for moms with husbands and kids. I’m sure partners with or without kids could find value here as well, but the target audience is busy moms who take on a lot of mental and physical work, which includes my wife. more
An interesting book, and somewhat comforting to read. As a DINK I don't have a lot of these issues talked about in the book, but it has struck me that even though I have a full time job, with a half hour commute on either end, I end up doing all the housework, grocery shopping, meal execution, household repairs, budgeting, etc. while my husband uses his spare time to volunteer, attend political forums, have coffee "meetings" with every mover and shaker in the city, and play on his Ipad. And get cranky when dinner is not planned, or when he is forced to eat leftovers two night in a row instead of having fresh food made for him. So I was excited to get an ARC of this book. more
DNF. made it 50% through. this is not for me. 😜❤️📚. more
This book is only for two-parent homes struggling to find a balance in at-home responsibilities. There were a lot of things it left unaddressed- such as workaholic spouses, or as numerous reviews stated, any kind of lower-class home (where for example maybe one person works a night shift). If you want it only for that very limited area, it's helpful. I happen to have a husband who is not only doing a fair amount but might also be doing an equal amount (or more. ). more
I had to stop reading this half way in. She does an extremely unfair job of portraying a man's contribution in the household. The most laughable part to me was when she was splitting up their lists of "shit they do" and gave each of her tasks sub-points. She gave herself "taking care of the pet" and there were several sub-points to the extent of buying the dog food, taking them to vet appointments, etc. Meanwhile, she gave her husband 1) manage the finances and 2) cars and maintenance. more
Before reading Fair Play, I wondered what would happen to my children if I died. Would they grow up in squalor, never having their hair combed and teeth brushed, or clean clothes to wear. Would they never see the doctor or dentist again for their regular check-ups. After reading Fair Play, I realized that of course not…my kids would be absolutely fine, because my husband is a reasonable and smart man, and thus, he would simply remarry. Simply stated, Fair Play is about equitably restructuring the domestic division of labor, a complex topic that has been discussed in-depth for decades, but without a revolutionary, systematic resolution, until now. more
This is the October @reesesbookclub selection. As a single woman who lives alone, I did not relate to this book. I find this to be such a miss for RBC as it really alienated me. This was clearly a vanity project for the author and I disliked the tone of several of her statements. I found the game to be confusing, and so much of it is based on your perceived opinions of your partner that I can’t imagine this would actually go over well. more
I’m hesitant to say too much about this or rate it because I’m not the intended audience. As such I’m surprised Reese Witherspoon would select a book that alienates a large percentage of her book club readers. This book did make me appreciate all that parents, in particular moms, do. If I didn’t want kids or marriage before I certainly don’t want it now. This sealed the deal. more
The most important thing to note about this book is that it is for women who live with a man (married, most likely) and have one or more children. If that is you and you have the feeling that you are handling a bunch of unseen and unappreciated work around the house, READ THIS BOOK. *note: check out the website fairplaylife. com for her COVID times toolkit*I was familiar with the concept of emotional labor and the unequal division of work (especially caregiving tasks--doctor's appointments, anyone. ) but none of that previous reading went any further than describing the issue. more
Picked up this book because of Reese’s bookclub. Although there was obviously a lot of research done and she does point out some good points. It sounds like she wants to impose this “game” to their marriage, delegate while still supervising tasks instead of making the relationship a true partnership. What gave this book only two stars was the tone. Men are trash, woman are superior. more
This book was a game changer. I feel bad for all the negative reviews. I feel being a Reese’s book club pick did a disservice to this book. It resulted in a lot of people reading this book who shouldn’t have. In other words not the target audience. more
I appreciate what Rodsky is trying to do, but so much of this feels like overkill to me. There's really no need for a game this complicated--it's clearly the author's passion project, but it's essentially just a tool to help couples communicate better. I found much of her approach to be a. ) frustratingly heteronormative and b. ) frustratingly infantilizing of men (and enabling of this kind of infantilization, which feels like a double whammy). more
I thought this was interesting but ocelot idealistic. I think it would be useful for two full time working patents to go through this game together and play, but for SAHM, which Rodsky says she is also (mostly. ) talking to, I think the most important message here is: make time for self care, adult relationships, and "unicorn space". And have your partner get on board with that. There, i just saved you having to read this book. more
If you follow me on social media, you know I have been going on and on about Fair Play but I am just so excited about it. I love parenting books, I love self-help and relationship books and as soon as I saw the premise of this I knew I needed to read it ASAP. The adjustment to parenthood did not happen super easily for us both personally and in our relationship together. It was a huge transition and we struggled in many ways as we navigated our new roles and expectations of one another. “On many days, feeling the full weight of exhaustion that would seize me the moment my baby was down and I was finally offline, I’d wonder What did I do all day. more
Oh my goodness. I could not finish this book. It is one long, angry rant about all that needs to be done to have a marriage, family, and home run smoothly and harmoniously. Please tell me it's a joke. Granted, my family is raised, my marriage is happy, and our home functions smoothly; so I'm looking BACK on the the busy, never-ending list of tasks from a different perspective. more
In all honesty, I haven't read this book. But my roommate produced the movie so I'm just trying to bump it higher on the Goodreads algorithm because I'm very proud of her :))))). more
As a male, be prepared to be bashed in this book as the “doofy husband” of commercials. Eve seems to be resentful of her kids (for ruining her previously “perfect” life and career) but channels it to her husband. Her solution is a passive-aggressive (in the special way lawyers can only do) “system” of pointing out all the things each person should do and then micromanaging how they do them (“minimum standard of care”). Do some research on Eve’s husband’s connection with Reese’s brand and you’ll see this is just some marketing BS. Skip this useless book. more
I read this on a recommendation from a young mom who liked it. Perhaps I am too old to get anything from this book, but it was so annoying to read. It felt like just a long list of complaints of doing too much. Don't get me wrong, I am all about equalizing housework and it's something my spouse and I have argued about for years, but this approach seems like the absolute wrong way to go about it. It seems excessively aggressive and fight-y and high strung. more
My friend Julie, a mom and business owner said recently, "If I lean in any more, I will fall over. " It stuck right to the heart of what so many women I know are dealing with as they strive for balance in career and family, always on the brink of falling off the edge. What if we had the opportunity to balance the scales at home. What if my husband and I decided to plan out the division of labor at home before we had kids. What if I could actually quantify my domestic workload and give my husband more than his 4%. more
I picked this up bc it was the Reese Witherspoon pick for October. My sis skimmed it and told me I could skip it, even though we are reading all the RW picks. It’s solely focused on moms with kids. This is not me. If I got anything from skimming the first few pages of this book, it’s that everyone’s time is valuable and my valuable time should be spent on a book I’ll enjoy more. more
#ReeseWitherspoon Book Club October 2019 pickI listened to about 50% of this self-help audiobook and just couldn’t take it any more. Too much anger and talk of “unicorn space”. It’s actually quite sad that modern relationships have become so petty — couples trying to one-up each other. more
I enjoyed this and would recommend it to anyone who shares household duties with a partner, whether you have kids or not. I loved how practical the book is and the author's tips for how to phrase conversation starters. I don't totally agree with the tactic she recommends of having only one person own each household task completely, and I feel like the author also didn't address how the time earning an income should factor into household responsibilities. But overall this was great food for thought and I think will bring about some great conversations in my home. more
I really enjoyed this book - so much so that even though I listened to it for free from the library, I'm going to buy a physical copy to annotate it and pull quotes. I found myself nodding along as I was driving to and from work… and yes, getting angry. Because the facts ARE anger-inducing. Women are the "she-fault" (default) to domestic tasks and the cognitive labor of running a household. Women naturally take on more chores, take on the mental load of unseen work, are expected to assign out work to their partners like a project manager, and then get blamed for being a "nag". more
Anyone who has been in a relationship where they are sharing their lives under one roof will find something of interest in Fair Play. I can't speak for everyone, but for most of my friends and my relationship, the scale never seems balanced when it comes to taking care of the place called home(and the children or fur babies). Fair Play presents a plan for a more even distribution of the myriad of tasks that have to be dealt with on an ongoing basis. It is written in a thought-provoking and engaging way, that may lead to some well-needed adult conversations. Too often, arguments ensue when people are frustrated, and I can see how taking the emotion out of the conversation, and approaching it logically, as you would at work, can lead to a better outcome. more
I’m not sure whether to give this book two or three stars. There were a lot of interesting and helpful elements to it and I definitely will implement some things into my life. However, I have a laundry list of things I really hated and felt like this book could approve upon. I might’ve had an older edition because I noticed the website has much more inclusive language but very many parts of this book were essentially “Husband stupid and lazy. Wife smart and does everything”I’m sure there are a lot of women in marriages who would fall into (the very specific niche lol) that this book clearly is catering to. more
I have mixed feeling about this book. So many of the sentiments Eve said rang true to my life as a full time working mother who holds 87 cards and somewhere keeps the family afloat. At the same time, I felt this was a little silly. a card game to play with husband to make sure I wasn’t the one doing all the work. So my takeaway is that even if I don’t use the fair play cards or card game, it’s got me starting the discussion with husband on how to share some of responsibilities, it also has me asking the questions like why. more
Made some good points but mostly made me depressed about the never-ending-ness of all of this. more
Recommend. Not a chance. Rodsky's gleams success from this book because it hits home for so many women of our time. As a mother myself, I understand Rodsky's perspective and she does make some valid arguments such as our culture needing to change its realistic views on motherhood so women can feel valued at home or at work, so longer maternity leaves can take place like other countries already practice, and so more fathers can participate in domestic duties. She and her girlfriends create a list of all the things mothers must do for their household to run successfully and makes each item on the list a physical card. more
unique solution to the inequality in invisible labor. next step is trying it out at home. more
This book is a marvel. It reads like a gripping novel while packed with historical references, funny antidotes, and most importantly a practical game plan for change. Ms. Rodsky taps into the place where even the most liberated of women find it hard to fight: their own homes. This book will transform our current culture’s hold on female resource and give women and men back our most valuable comity: TIME. more