Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol
Holly Whitaker
The founder of a female-focused recovery program offers a radical new path to sobriety. “You don’t know how much you need this book, or maybe you do. Either way, it will save your life. more
368 pages, Hardcover
First published The Dial Press
4.01
Rating
24421
Ratings
2913
Reviews
Holly Whitaker
3 books 1074 followers
Holly Whitaker is the founder of Tempest, a modern, trauma-informed, human-first recovery program, which she started in 2014, a year after becoming sober. Holly is a writer and bestselling author of Quit Like A Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol, a memoir/self-help book about drinking, the mammoth and often under-recognized influence of Big Alcohol, and what women+ really need to recover.Holly has been featured in the New York Times, Washington Post, Newsweek, Vogue, TechCrunch, Refinery29, Goop, and was named in Inc’s 2019 Female Founders 100 List. She lives in the Catskills region of New York with her cat Mary Katherine.
Community reviews
It's my book so I definitely, definitely recommend it. . more
I feel like I'm reading HUNGER GAMES 4. I'm eating this sh** up and bookmarking every f***ing page. This FEMINIST MANIFESTO takes down the patriarchy of the alcohol industry and current recovery models. It's STUFFED with WISDOM & TOOLS. So much f***ing RESEARCH went into this book. more
I want to gift this book to everyone I know, but really I just want to tell everyone to read this book. QLAW is for anyone who drinks alcohol (in any amount) AND those who are sober already. Holly breaks down the lie we have been sold about alcohol, how it keeps us from our power, how it is a feminist issue, and how alcohol is having a cigarette moment (which was one of my favorite chapters in the book). It’s packed full of research & data & statistics & QLAW allows us to wake up and see how alcohol keeps us from the most poignant moments of our lives, how it keeps us from ourselves. Some believe quitting drinking will lead to a boring existence, but that’s a lie. more
A lot of the information and ideas presented here are beneficial. It’s important to examine the way our culture normalizes alcohol, a literal poison, and then demonizes people who become addicted. I love the idea of ditching the terms alcoholism and alcoholic. However, as I read this book, something kept telling me in the back of mind that this is not for me. Similar to the way that the author knew AA wasn’t for her. more
This is all my fault. I should have foreseen that "woman" in the title will indicate that this is going to be heavily feminist in this very modern and hard for me to stand way. So my first eye roll happened when I learned that women start drinking because of social pressure and anxiety (and because Donald Trump is a president) and men start drinking because they are sick from wielding too much power. Sorry, I should write "woman and other historically oppressed groups" because it is not only about woman drinking but about social justice. I hoped that this book will bring some interesting insights into our drinking culture and to some degree it has but then I've checked bibliography and I started to wonder how much information included in this book is actually trustworthy. more
As a substance use counselor who is also 7 years sober, I looked forward to this book from the first time Holly announced it. I knocked 2 stars for a couple of reasons. 1. much of what she describes as tools for recovery are accessible to mainly people with money. For example, sure a morning cup of lemon water and meditation is almost free, but yoga classes and international travel are hella expensive and I lost count of how many times the words yoga and Rome appear together. more
I should say I really wanted to like this book. I’m a liberal feminist, white woman with a PhD in public health, and my recovery has largely not included 12 step programs but rather a “choose your own adventure” path— I don’t think I could be more in the ‘target’ audience. But there were several aspects that I just couldn’t get past. 1) Like others, I don’t disagree this is written very much for a select group of women with significant financial resources. I don’t fault the author for this as that is her lens/life. more
I started out completely loving this but then it went downhill so fast. I wanted to read/learn more about the culture around why alcohol is marketed to women the way it is and the history behind this, and the specific reasons why women come to alcohol dependence and there is all that, but not enough. Spoiler alert, it’s all just the patriarchy. Not much to it beyond that. It becomes very blandly self-helpy and repetitive. more
It's frustrating to see someone promote her paid ($850 per year. ) program by criticizing AA, a free program. She claims it is not conducive to helping oppressed groups like women and people of color. What addicts in marginalized communities are able to afford $71 per month or the therapy and kundalini yoga programs she suggests in the book. I am all for people getting involved in whatever recovery program works best for them, but I think it is suspicious when someone has such a bone to pick with a program she has never been involved with (she admits to going to just one or two AA meetings in the book) while trying to make a profit. more
I wanted to like this book, but I just don't. It's like like listening to the newly saved prostletize or the newly skinny talk about how many grams of protein you should eat. While some of the research on alcohol was enlightening (did you know the ethanol in a drink is the same stuff used in gas. ), Whitaker makes some leaps of logic that just aren't backed up. The tie between "alcohol culture" and sexism, racism, and homophobia is more pronouncement than a revelation. more
Taking personal responsibility isn't oppressive, it's liberating. I enjoyed the points about the alcohol industry, but that's where it stopped. I'm not convinced the author fully understands ego or what the lives of oppressed people (other than women) are actually like. more
This was pretty much girl wash your face but about sobriety. I'm big on taking personal responsibility and I just think this kind of missed the mark for me. more
Today marks 120 days sober for me. Wow, right. I have a friend who just hit 4 years sober and says she’s the happiest she’s ever been. I’m over here like…maybe. What I miss about alcohol: the first sip, the first hour of pleasant numbness, the idea that I’m doing something even though I’m not really, the 5pm ritual of “ah, relief is finally here,” the social bonding and purpose that comes with drinking in groups. more
I’m really not looking forward to reviewing this book, but I feel compelled to warn anyone who picks up this book with the real intention of working on their issues. This book is not only conflicting and contradictory, the book itself is confused. I felt like I was on a roller coaster the entire time I was reading. Is it self help. Is it a memoir. more
Disappointing I wanted to like this book. I had an open mind. But the author was so unfair in her assessment of AA , there’s no point even having an exchange of ideas about it. There’s no bridge that can be built here. And that’s unfortunate. more
My only critique is the title. There's so much great information in here for everyone. Gents, don't be deterred; everyone should read, learn, and self-examine. . more
I really liked the first half of this book. I did not at all like the second. Whitaker challenges the idea of alcoholism as a disease that only affects some people without self control. She points out that alcohol is toxic and addictive for everyone and labeling it as poisonous for just some people lets others sell themselves the false notion that they can handle it when in reality, no one can. She examines the profit that big business makes from this false narrative and juxtaposes the national response to opioids, which are less of a problem statistically, to alcohol and asks us to think about why we hold opioid makers accountable but not alcohol companies. more
Women lead lives of quiet desperation. This book helped me validate my decision to eliminate alcohol from my life after a decade-long off-on relationship with it. As Holly predicts, it has also led me to examine a lot of my other behaviors — as of press time, I left my iPhone on airplane mode at home, read a book on the bus, and generally feel calmer, happier, and more in control of my own thoughts. Part of the rise in drinking among Millennials I'd attribute to our being constantly bombarded with inputs. As she posits, alcohol is a way to swing quickly from this state of hyperarousal to hypoarousal. more
This book is garbage for so many reasons. I'm surprised at how many things I didn't like about this book. Quitting alcohol is much more difficult than the author makes it out to be, and I know this because of the amount of people I've seen struggle to do it. Basically this book says: If you're rich, then quitting alcohol is as easy as saying that you quit and then drinking all the expensive green juice and taking all the expensive yoga classes and taking all the expensive vacations. This book excludes most of the female population with its advice. more
Quit Like a Woman has piqued my curiosity since it was published in 2021. I finished this book 2 weeks ago and have mixed thoughts. I drink though I’m not a big drinker and had no intentions of reading this book “to” quit drinking. I was curious to see what information Holly Whitaker shares. I almost stopped reading in the first chapter because of the tone — It felt braggy and grated on me. more
The passion here is definitely encouraging for a mind set on the better life of a non-drinker. First, I want to say that AA changed my life. For years I struggled. I didn't want to do the steps. For 1. more
This is one of the best audiobooks I’ve ever listened to. I feel like Holly just saved me years of therapy and helped me gain clarity into my own relationships with sober people. I highly recommend this book to anyone considering reading it whether you have an interest in sobriety or do not. Edit 3/17/21While I really do think this book was a great resource for me, it's pretty limited in who will gain from it. After some conversations with friends about this book I think that the author fell short regarding the science behind the book and the lack of reflection on her own privilege. more
If I have to hear the words Kundalini in a valley-girl accent one more time I'm going to lose it. (I didn't realize how annoying the audiobook would be. ) As other people have brought up, no one has the expenses for yoga, regular massages, etc. At one point she mentions ignoring all responsibilities (including taking care of your kids) to have "me" time. Sure that sounds nice, but is it realistic. more
As the adult child of an alcoholic I picked up this book looking for a few things: 1. I was curious to see if it would shed any perspective on the sobriety experience from someone who successfully overcame their struggles with addiction2. I wanted to see what all the hype was about3. I wanted to re-examine my own relationship with alcohol and see if the author addressed any research about genetic predispositions to alcoholism Here’s why I knocked off three stars: While the book was obviously well researched and mostly well written, I finished the book thinking that the steps to recovery outlined in the book were largely unattainable for most women—especially low income women with children. Yoga classes, trips to Rome, massages, facials and the other self care methods Whitaker specifically recommended aren’t easily accessible for most people. more
I didn’t realize this book was about liberal politics or I wouldn’t have bought it. What does alcoholism have to do with political beliefs. more
I liked many parts of this book, which is a compelling combination of autobiographical experience, history, little known fact, and light feminist theory. In many ways, Whitaker makes some great points. She explores the origins of AA, created in the 1930s by and for white Protestant men, and discusses how its history has shaped it into an organization whose tenants are not always helpful or inclusive to women in recovery. Her writing is persuasive, and it is obvious that she has done extensive research in the writing of this book. Overall, I think it is worth a read. more
(My rating is probably closer to a 2. 5, but since this is my good reads account I’m choosing to round down) I am currently on accutane which means I can’t drink. I got this book so that maybe I’d feel more empowered in my sober lifestyle and not like I’m missing out on my twenties. While this book has likely inspired me to enjoy sobriety more, I don’t think I’m completely convinced that there is societal change around drinking coming and that I’m going to be a part of it. Do I want to drink less after this book. more
This is, quite literally, the worst book I have ever read. This review will not even convey how terrible this book is as I simply don't want to waste any more precious moments of my life contemplating this book. I will say this:1. This book is one huge ad for Holly's company, Tempest2. There is an alarming amount of new-age spirituality in this book - if you're abusing alcohol try doing yoga and connecting with the chakras of your ancestors. more
One of the most important books I’ve read this year and maybe ever. This is about our society’s obsession with alcohol and how alcohol companies target women, but more than that, it’s a book about self discovery and not feeling guilty about growing into who you are, even if it means outgrowing others. I highly recommend to everyone — not just those who are looking to quit drinking bc I actually am not 100% sober myself. It’s such an eye opening examination about the drinking culture in america and how capitalism and alcohol go hand in hand. It sheds light on how toxic alcohol really is for our minds and bodies and how alcohol addiction and alcohol-related deaths had more than doubled in recent years, but how ignored it goes because of the alcohol industry’s power today (which is not unlike Big Tobacco decades ago). more
It was profound and thought provoking. But I wouldn’t recommend. I think I could find a better book on the subject. I don’t like the blame the author puts on men. It seems unnecessary and immature. more