Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old

Steven Petrow

Soon after his 50th birthday, Steven Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of dos and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical. The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. more

NonfictionHumorSelf HelpMemoirHealthAudiobookEssaysPsychologyBiography MemoirBiography

272 pages, Kindle Edition
First published Citadel Press

3.67

Rating

4499

Ratings

560

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Steven Petrow

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Sandysbookaday
2166 reviews
2199 followers
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EXCERPT: Perhaps you remember a few years ago, 'Saturday Night Live' spoofed the American Echo, better known as 'Alexa', beginning with this cautionary sentence: 'The latest technology isn't always easy for people of a certain age. ' Referring to a fictitious partnership between Amazon and AARP, the announcer declares that the 'American Echo Silver' edition is designed specifically for the Greatest Generation. It is super loud, and responds to any name remotely like Alexa, including Allegra, Odessa, Anita, Alberta, Alisha, Alessandra, Excedrin and Alopecia. I especially liked the SNL promo for the Echo Silver's handy-dandy feature that helps old people find things. 'Amelia, where did I put the phone. more


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Christine
608 reviews
1268 followers
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4 starsGetting old happens to everyone, but it’s happening to me now. So the title of this one caught my attention and reminded me of the fact that I’m not getting any younger. No one really wants to address this stuff. You know, gee, do I need to think about who’s going to take care of me since I have no kids to do that. And who’s going to badger me about giving up my driver’s license and write my obit and clean out all my clutter and dreadful stuff like that. more


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Carole
524 reviews
125 followers
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Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old by Steven Petrow is at times an eye-opener, at times depressing and most of the time enchantingly funny. But all is not amusing: we are all headed in the same direction and should think ahead. Aging never happens by surprise and the main gist of this book is that we should think of our future years in a positive way, making plans for what will happen to us later. Some of the advice is tongue-in-cheek comical but there are also valuable pointers on how to prepare for senior time. If I found the book a wee bit depressing, I’m sure that is due to the fact that I find myself lurching towards aging. more


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Alicia Bayer
2192 reviews
227 followers
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This book starts out rather humorous and sometimes mocking, but it evolves into a really helpful, heartfelt list of the ways we sabotage ourselves and our relationships in our oldest years. The author wrote it over a ten year period of his parents' last years and deaths, starting when they were alive and were sometimes just annoying in their habits but ending up with all of the wisdom he gathered from loving them, losing them, and seeing what he would do differently. Along the way he also describes beloved friends who lived life (and the end of it) exceptionally well, with lessons for all of us. I read a digital ARC of this book via NetGalley. more


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Brian
327 reviews
71 followers
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As Stephen Petrow entered his 50s, he began assembling this collection of resolutions about how he wished to behave as he aged. Many of them represent his responses to attitudes and behaviors he observed in his parents or other older people and didn’t want to emulate. I found the list to be uneven. Some of the things Petrow vows never to do would never even occur to me to do (e. g. more


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Book lover
90 reviews
0 followers
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This book is not interesting, funny nor was it amusing. I decided I had enough at 32%. more


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Kristi Lamont
1703 reviews
57 followers
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I picked this book up on a sort-of whim at my public library today, realizing as I did so it was because that my aunt and uncle had been down for a visit this week, and my aunt had sort of marveled at the fact that she would be 70 at the end of the month. My aunt will be 70 at the end of the month. This. Does. Not. more


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Žaba Čita Novine
278 reviews
9 followers
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DNFed at 25%This was really not the right book for me and not at all what I have expected. I must say that I have no interest whatsoever in erectile disfunction in older men, dying your hair to look younger or just straight lying about your age. more


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Becky
1352 reviews
25 followers
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3. 5 stars. This starts off, as the author says, in a judgmental way. The author witnessed his own parents' decline and deaths and made this list of things he won't do when in the same position, as an elderly man. But the book does turn from the practical (stop driving when unsafe, get a hearing aid) to the poignant when Petrow realizes that his frustrations came from a mixture of love and fear of aging. more


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Carla
6353 reviews
146 followers
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I'm sure we all think our parents or grandparents can be embarrassing and do things that we would never do when we get to their age, well, think again. When Steven Petrow was 50, he began to make a list of all the things his parents were doing wrong and eventually, all these lists became this book. Now, I am in my 60s and I laughed wholeheartedly as I listened to this book. I also had a list in my mind of things my mother did that I was never going to do, but, I know I have turned into my mother, at least partly. There is a lot to laugh at in this book, as you see yourself in its pages, but there are also some serious points that are helpful. more


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Nengshi Haokip
77 reviews
1 followers
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First off, I want to clarify that I’m not old, though at times my body feels so. 😄And I didn’t pick up this book because I feel old but my parents are getting old and there are many times we’ve come to loggerheads because they’re too stubborn or can’t give up a habit that they’re used to. I read this mainly to understand them better and also to avoid some common mistakes being old tends to make people do, like feeling entitled for eg. I loved this book and I’d recommend it to anyone cause let’s face it we’re dealing with old in some way or the other. It started as a humorous mocking satire of old age but as the book progresses I could see that it’s a practical view of what being old looks like. more


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Timothy
344 reviews
0 followers
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It was OK. A list of notions or traps that we all fall into as we age, yet we all swear will never happen to us when we’re older. Apparently this author has resolved never have negative life issues as he ages. We all resolve to do the same. It doesn’t work out that way. more


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Ghoul Von Horror
874 reviews
315 followers
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Thought this was going to be funny but came off preachy. 🙄. more


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Donna Craig
994 reviews
34 followers
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When I was reading this book, I enjoyed it a lot but didn’t realize I would end up giving it five stars. The author’s irreverent humor didn’t seem appropriate at first. However, as I continued reading, I got into his groove and began to learn from his experiences. I began to agree with his conclusions. I began, in essence, to realize the stupid things I don’t want to do when I’m old. more


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Marsha Miller
14 reviews
11 followers
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Close to 70 and just retired, much of this book comes close [too close. ] to things I’ve been thinking about, or thinking about thinking about. Plus I have a friend going thru many of the issues with her parents, so kind of a perfect storm for the purpose and focus of this book. Even though I don’t have siblings and have never had a significant other, I can see that I am more or less in the right place and need to get a move on with some of the things that come up. I’ve already started my own short list of things to do/not do - I promise not to save the butter pats or the jellies but I will have problems giving up the ‘perfect’ box. more


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Vanessa
816 reviews
54 followers
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Unfortunately, this book is one I had to skim through, a lot, in order to finish. (And I nearly DNF'ed it. )I expected a funny and insightful personal list of things to avoid doing as you get older, but sadly the book was neither. It feels more like a bitter account of the struggles of a man growing older, focusing on somewhat shallow things, like dying your hair to look younger, lying about your age, talking, in lengthy depth, about erectile dysfunction and male insecurities about getting older. It could have been funny and a sort of "what not to do" guide/list as you face the inevitable fact of ageing. more


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Amanda
185 reviews
3 followers
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I loved this. I laughed out loud and cried too. The beginning tone was a bit hard to grasp and relate to, so if you start and hesitate to keep going, push on. This one is worth it- it ends with heart and humor. more


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Ketti
699 reviews
1 followers
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Fun and interesting book, especially at my age. I helped my parents and parents-in-law as they were aging, I learned a lot. Petrows list and mine aren’t quite the same but this book has me developing a unique list of my own. Quotes – “Balance comes from adapting quickly. ”“Retirement for men is especially a real killer. more


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Yaaresse
2071 reviews
16 followers
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2. 5, but I'm rounding up for mention of the tendency of old people to hoard those single serving jellies and butter pats. Oh, the recognition there. I used to be in restaurant management. My mother, who didn't have age to blame so much as general cussedness and a slight kleptomania, would steal us blind of anything single serve like those Smuckers jellies. more


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Al
49 reviews
0 followers
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I don't really know what to say about this book. There were parts that I absolutely can't relate to but everything was thought provoking. No question my older brother experienced much of those portions of the book. There was a lot I could relate to. Some things that had never occurred to me. more


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Lisa Konet
2212 reviews
10 followers
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I do not consider myself old yet, I will be 38 next month in June. I like that this book was about not letting your age getting in the way of living your life. I would say 95% of this book humorous but it was also very personal and honest about the aging process and that old age does not have to be a death sentence. Filled with wonderful anecdotes and humor. I definitely recommend this for anyone who is trying to fight their age and the aging process. more


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Helen
1075 reviews
0 followers
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Steven Petrow's book is a compilation of useful things to think about as the people we love get older and so do we. I would describe it as an antidote to the denial that keeps us from thinking about the possibility of losing our physical and/or mental abilities and (heaven forbid) actually dying. In the beginning, Petrow's humorous style was engaging, but then it really began to wear on me and half way through I thought about quitting. Part of that was the repetitive nature of his stories. Spoiler alert--he and his husband divorced and his parents both died in a year's time, which he mentions many times. more


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Katie (spellboundbooks_)
380 reviews
65 followers
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This was a book club pick so I picked it up on audio. If I’m honest I thought it was going to be more funny little things old people do that we don’t want to do later and less some man’s memoir. It felt very repetitive to me and I kept feeling like I had already listened to a part just to figure out he was mentioning the same story again (maybe that’s part of the getting old part though…). I don’t know what I expected with this one and maybe I’m too young for it (I am the only one in my 20s in my book club made up entirely of people 55+). I did see a lot of similarities in stuff my parents and other old people around me do. more


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Dora Okeyo
1853 reviews
178 followers
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Growing old is inevitable, just like the saying goes "what goes up but never comes down. " and the answer is always "age," well, this book was downright hilarious. When I saw it on Netgalley, I was hooked by the title alone because I wanted to know what stupid things the author wouldn't do when he gets old, but what I found instead was a list of experiences that highlight the fears and our take on aging that made this book relatable. Thanks Netgalley for the eARC. more


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Jaime
1712 reviews
305 followers
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A realistic read regarding how we turn into our parents as we age. I connected with this book as there were many times I used to say, “when I reach your age I will never…. (fill in blank); yet, now that I am older I find myself doing exactly what my parents would have done. It’s nice to know I am not the only one experiencing this phenomenon. The book was very easy to read and the subject matter was witty instead of dull and dry. more


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Tammy
232 reviews
6 followers
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There’s some humor and entertainment to be found here, as well as a few poignant chapters. But I can’t ignore that it’s written from the perspective of a privileged white person, who actually has choices in retirement. Everyone can choose their attitudes, it’s true, but not everyone can choose their living arrangement or nursing home as they age. In fact most people, in the end, are sent to whatever facility that Medicaid agrees to provide. . more


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Terris
1135 reviews
60 followers
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This book was very good. It first sounded like it was going to be funny -- and there was some humor interjected. But mostly it was helpful in the way we look at aging. The author (63 years-of-age at the time of the writing) had recently gone through the caretaking and deaths of his parents. So, because of his experiences with them (and also because of some of his own health issues), he was able to speak in a light, but serious way about how uncomfortable situations can be handled with kindness and respect. more


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Courtney Smith Atkins
752 reviews
1 followers
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Ahhhhh, the human condition. What we can all expect through the aging process. I learned that as a person ages, their body odor will change. This could be based on the meds you take, a reduced appetite (nasty kitten breath resulting) and/or medical ailments. Not to mention a change in hormones. more


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Cynthia Nicola
1256 reviews
8 followers
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This one just clicked with me. I liked that Petrow focused on what you are missing by doing stupid things while worrying that people will think you are old. Let it go and get the most out of your life. more


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Becca
31 reviews
0 followers
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As I listen to this book on my 30th birthday, I think I will read it again as when I add another decade to my life. . more


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