What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma
Stephanie Foo
A searing memoir of reckoning and healing by acclaimed journalist Stephanie Foo, investigating the little-understood science behind complex PTSD and how it has shaped her life"Every cell in my body is filled with the code of generations of trauma, of death, of birth, of migration, of history that I cannot understand. . . more
352 pages, Hardcover
First published Ballantine Books
4.51
Rating
39971
Ratings
5264
Reviews
Stephanie Foo
2 books 995 followers
Community reviews
Okay I loved this memoir. It has the same therapy appeal of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone though with more attention paid to how culture and race affect mental health. In What My Bones Know, accomplished journalist Stephanie Foo writes about receiving a diagnosis of complex posttraumatic stress disorder and the steps she took to heal herself. One of the elements of this book I enjoyed right from the start includes how Foo writes about her trauma with such realness and vulnerability. The physical and emotional abuse her parents put her through felt painful to read though also cathartic as a fellow survivor of child abuse. more
The best book I’ve read all year. As an Asian woman who also grew up from San Jose and chased external success to fill the void of family trauma and mental illness, Foo’s memoir hit very close to home. The beginning is tough to get through as she recounts the physical and verbal abuse she faced throughout childhood, yet it was the last 1/3 that made me cry as I read about the relief, happiness, and love she found in the end. Gut-wrenching and so well-written. more
This is one of the best memoirs I’ve read about living with complex PTSD. It was a heartbreaking recollection of a shattering childhood and overcoming the beast within. It is about searching for answers and healing slowly, and I’m so happy her journey is out there to inspire and help others. . more
Audiobook…. Read by the author, Stephanie Foo …. 10 hours and 2 minutes This is a very powerful [masterful in fact]…. ‘memoir/educational’ bookabout mental illness. - connected with physical illnesses —a wide range of behaviors— long-term brain alteration from abuse in early childhood — and other emotional struggles. more
“So this is healing, then, the opposite of the ambiguous dread: fullness. I am full of anger, pain, peace, love, of horrible shards and exquisite beauty, and the lifelong challenge will be to balance all of those things, while keeping them in the circle. Healing is never final. It is never perfection. But along with the losses there are triumphs. more
Reading What My Bones Know as a therapist whose main specialties are developmental trauma and attachment was difficult and infuriating at times. I often take for granted how much easier it is to access mental health care in my state versus others across the country. Attunement is the most essential element in the client-therapist relationship to foster healing, so I get really upset when therapists forget this. Stephanie Foo is so vulnerable, insightful, and authentic in this beautiful, beautiful memoir. Just a small clarification from the text - psychologists do not necessarily have more training than LCSWs and LPCCs. more
Truly cannot stop thinking about how fundamentally life-changing it is. Truly one of my favorite books of the year & idc that we are only 3 months into the new year. What Foo delivers in this book as an Asian immigrant woman navigating mental illness but most importantly the reality of what mental care takes is something the world needs. I only hope that writing it has tremendously helped her on her life journey because what she’s given to the world in this book is irreplaceable. If you’ve ever read THE BODY KEEPS A SCORE & wondered what the many mentioned treatments look like in practice & navigating them as a non-white person - I’d urge you to go pick this one up ASAP. more
I spent five years as a literature and grammar teacher to advanced students in Fremont, California. Around 80% were South Asian, and the remaining 20% were mostly Northeast and Southeast Asian. In almost every case, their parents immigrated to America to attend Ivy League colleges, then accepted offers at Silicon Valley companies like Facebook, Google, and eBay. With very few exceptions, these students worked extremely hard. In addition to being “A” students, most volunteered locally, joined math and robotics clubs, and kicked ass on debate teams. more
In this often searing, sad and powerful memoir, Stephanie Foo has given us a portrait of her childhood and the trauma that resulted in her being diagnosed with Complex PTSD when she was in her mid 20s. Along with the trauma and her struggles, Foo presents her path seeking help through medical, psychiatric and alternative therapies. As she is a journalist, and has been for years, documenting this journey is natural for her. She writes of her harrowing childhood as a Malayasian immigrant of Chinese descent, living in San Jose with parents who she can't please or understand. The details of the abuse and neglect are graphic. more
my fav books of the year are shaping up to be memoirs by Asian women about going through trauma and parental neglect, then growing up and healing and learning how to accept others’ love… I love this genre ❤️ I love love ❤️ I cried not at the harrowing horrible parts about her abuse but the parts about love ❤️rtc. more
Good things-1. Foo does an excellent job of describing how she felt and the things she went through after her diagnosis of complex ptsd. For example, she does not trust people and assumes people mean the worst. She explains how hard it was for her to find a therapist that fit her needs and her pocketbook. There is a lot more of this that is good. more
There’s some really interesting stuff in this book. Parts 1 and 5 were my favorite. The way Foo ties her story to the science of complex ptsd is really well done and accessible. It’s dragged in the middle and felt very repetitive. . more
Yesterday I logged onto Goodreads, the website that tracks the books you and your friends are reading, and I noticed that an old college classmate had marked a book "to-read": What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing From Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo. "Ooh a new trauma book. " I thought, my interest piqued. Turns out this book was very new—the newest. It was released on the auspicious 2/2/22, mere days ago. more
What my bones know (WMBK) is a lot of things. It’s a starkly honest and brave biography, a natural experiment, an exquisite piece of investigative journalism, a completely irresponsible misrepresentation of psychotherapy, and perhaps the very best representation of psychotherapy I can think of, it’s a desperate cry for help, a self aware declaration of resilience and hard earned strength, a rare phenomenological account of a profound bio-psycho-social-spiritual awakening, a deeply healing recovery narrative, a laugh out loud, howl in agonizing cathartic tears, life changing, game changing read. WMBK is author Stephenie Foo’s autobiography of ATROCIOUS abuse in her family of origin, compounded by racism, and subsequent complex post traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) and her decades long recovery journey. In case you didn’t know:CPTSD is the 2022 diagnosis dijour, de rigor, due in part to this book, and its predecessors e. g. more
I don't even know where to begin other than to say that this might be the best memoir about trauma that I have ever read. And, y'all, I have read a lot of memoirs about mental health. If you had asked me a week ago, when I picked this book up from the library holds locker, if I would find so much to relate to in the story of a young woman who had immigrated from Malaysia and was later abandoned by parents who blamed her for their marital strife while swinging golf clubs at her head, I probably would have said no. But there is so much about Stephanie Foo's response to trauma and her therapy journey that reminds me of my own. Foo writes with a great deal of insight and self-compassion about the process of trying different therapeutic approaches to treating her complex PTSD, which is a unique diagnosis when the trauma is repeated over a period of years (as opposed to isolated incidents, such as war, the way we often think of PTSD). more
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 5/5. Whoa. Read this one asap. My sincere thanks to @netgalley, @randomhouse, and Ballantine Books for an advance review copy. All thoughts are my own. more
I sadly did not love this book. I think foo is an excellent audiobook narrator probably because of her years of podcasting experience, and I would recommend audiobook because you can actually hear her therapy sessions. I think what troubles me about this memoir is a perceived lack of self awareness regarding the military industrial complex. Foo mentions her husband being in the military as a reason for his “nuance” then never really mentions it again. She then dedicates entire sections to epigenetics and inherited trauma caused by war, particularly due to US invasions in other Asian countries. more
This one goes out to all my second-gen babes who needed those good grades like air, who buckled under the whip of filial piety, who still feel trapped in the yoke of perfectionism. Generational trauma is a newer concept in my life, the idea that the origin of my anxiety and my depression is my family’s tumultuous history. That my own issues could be attributed to past suffering so profound that it ingrained itself into my family’s genetic code and was, ultimately, passed down to me. That some events wound so deep that they literally embed themselves into one’s bones and the bones of their children and their children’s children. This is just the tip of the iceberg of Stephanie Foo’s memoir. more
I am nearly speechless and definitely in tears. I am so thankful for this book - phew. Absolute must read for those who wish to be/remain trauma informed. I will always recommend this book from now on as THE replacement for The Body Keeps The Score. One of my favorite books of the year. more
Viseral. A memoir like no other. Stephanie Foo did not leave any stones unturned. I am blown away by her courage and how she told her story. I did not even know Complex PTSD was a thing until I opened this book. more
4. 5 starsThis is a thoughtful, intimate and vulnerable memoir of healing from child abuse, written by an acclaimed journalist who also delves into the research about the effects of trauma, different types of therapies, and even an investigation of how accurate her own memories are, with an exploration of unacknowledged abuse in Asian-American immigrant communities. I love a memoir by someone who can approach her own story with curiosity and thoughtful analysis, and Foo’s candor about her own vulnerabilities and failings is especially impressive. Stephanie Foo had a rough childhood, including physical and emotional abuse from both parents, particularly her mom. In her teens, both abandoned her (though her dad continued to pay the bills on the house where she now lived alone). more
This is my first 5-star rating for a memoir since 2020, so I obviously highly recommend this well-written, informative, sometimes funny, sometimes sad exploration of C-PTSD. In her 30’s Stephanie Foo was diagnosed with complex PTSD – a condition which is caused by a series of traumatic events over time or one prolonged event. The fact that she is an investigative journalist elevated this memoir to something special. I really loved that she included not only her story, but also a lot of research on C-PTSD – balancing the emotional- and rational elements perfectly. Even though it never feels like an information dump, she manages to include so much - books read, interviews with psychologist and scientists, therapies tried, the effects this condition has on your body and the role our cultural heritage and DNA plays in the passing down of this condition to next generations. more
I related to this so much until she started talking about “the communists” like girl. however still worth the read for my fellow CPTSD girliest. just ignore her historical analysis and comments on the military . more
I had not heard of this memoir until one of my favorite Booktubers, Meg02, put it on my radar a few months back. While it is along the lines of Know My Name (stylistically) and I’m Glad My Mom Diet (content wise), the story and format were wholly unique. I cannot begin to imagine the abuse the author suffered at the hands of her family, particularly her mother; however, this book comes to close to giving the reader a window into the vast trauma this type of long term systemic abuse creates. The lengths Foo goes to in order to seek treatment of a disorder that a. is not well researched and, b. more
"Being healed isn't about feeling nothing. Being healed is about feeling the appropriate emotions at the appropriate times and still being able to come back to yourself. " This book is about the author and her journey being diagnosed and going through complex PTSD. She suffered physical and emotional abuse at the hands of her parents, her mother especially, which was of course difficult to read. There was also dialogue about the immigrant experience and a lot of information about the Asian culture and generational trauma surrounding historical events which I knew nothing about (yet another failure of my primary education). more
>:(I only gave this book two stars to honor the trauma that the author experienced. Because it’s absolutely valid & awful & so so sad she had to experience even an ounce of it. BUT, still, I have to be honest — this felt incredibly self-indulgent & a book about someone attached to their victim narrative. Essentially wanting everyone to understand them - which is impossible - & to blame all those before them for their pain - which is great to pinpoint where something starts but does very little for overall healing. She was vengeful & always looking for a silver bullet (ex, trying EMDR once & then being disappointed the “dread” came back… of course it did. more
Hmm. I have mixed feelings on this one. It wavered between a 3 and a 4, but ultimately there were enough things about it that triggered or bothered me that I don't feel like it's a near-perfect read. First -- I really admire what Stephanie did with this book, and with this whole journey about healing from C-PTSD. Very brave, very challenging, and ultimately, the entire world benefits from people who heal themselves. more
This is one of the best memoirs I’ve ever read, and I can’t quite explain what it meant to me. This is such a rarely discussed topic that it was one of those books I grabbed and thought, “I have been waiting all my life for this book. ” The entire thing was perfect, similar to how I felt about Know My Name. The story telling, the pace, the way she describes the complexities of her healing process, and in this case, chunks of really interesting info on the actual BIOLOGICAL effects of long-term trauma… without being at all too info-dumpy. We toss around the term “generational trauma” all the time, but she does a deep-dive into HOW that works. more
5 ⭐️ I need some time before I can write a review for this book. for now all I can say is, it is powerful, emotional and extremely validating. Wow. . more
I would like to thank the author for embracing her vulnerability and sharing her story with us. It is an enlightening as well as educational read about the effects of psychological and physical abuse sustained in childhood. Her strive to heal is inspiring and the details are useful to everyone who are trying to become a better person. . more