While You Were Out: An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence
Meg Kissinger
From award-winning journalist Meg Kissinger, a searing memoir of a family besieged by mental illness, as well as an incisive exploration of the systems that failed them and a testament to the love that sustained them. Growing up in the 1960s in the suburbs of Chicago, Meg Kissinger’s family seemed to live a charmed life. With eight kids and two loving parents, the Kissingers radiated a warm, boisterous energy. more
320 pages, Hardcover
First published Celadon Books
4.31
Rating
6006
Ratings
867
Reviews
Meg Kissinger
1 books 161 followers
Meg Kissinger spent more than two decades traveling across the country to report on America’s mental health system for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. A Pulitzer Prize finalist, she has won dozens of accolades, including two George Polk Awards, the Robert F. Kennedy Award, awards from Investigative Reporters and Editors, and two National Journalism Awards. Kissinger teaches investigative reporting at Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism and was a visiting professor at DePauw University, her alma mater. Her stories on the abysmal living conditions for people with mental illness inspired changes to Wisconsin law and led to the creation of hundreds of new housing units. She lives in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, with her husband.Community reviews
**Many thanks to NetGalley, @CeladonBooks, and Meg Kissinger for an ARC of this book. Now available as of 9. 5. **Meg Kissinger grew up in a veritable whirlwind of uncertainty: as one of EIGHT children, life was always an adventure. Though she had two loving parents, the duo presented one side of their personalities to the outside world, and an entirely DIFFERENT side to their family. more
This memoir is heart wrenching about a family of 10 with mental illness. There are many triggers in this book that are hard to listen to. Suicide is very imminent in this book. I had a hard time with that part as I’ve known 2 people in 4 years who committed this horrific way to go. The narrator/author is fabulous. more
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review. Wow, what an amazing book. So much heartache and sadness for this family and their experiences with mental illness. This book is a must-read for anyone who knows anyone with mental illness, which means everyone. more
This is an incredible memoir. Compellingly written and deeply researched, Meg Kissinger shares her story of growing up in a family that fought mental illness behind closed doors in an era where such struggles were not to be talked about openly. Everything was hush-hush, swept under the rug, and left to fester. It’s ultimately a devastating story as she shares that two of her siblings took their own lives. It is heartbreaking to read how little support and understanding there was leading up to their deaths, and the ripple effects that this had on the rest of the family. more
At the height of the AIDs crisis in the 80s people did not speak of the epidemic, including President Reagan who was quite clear that if it was only killing Gay people (presumably he would have used different words) it didn't matter to real Americans. The rallying cry for those of us who disagreed was Silence=Death. That was true of AIDs, once the talking started so did the path to managing the illness. In this book Meg Kissinger wants us to know the same rules apply to mental illness. Kissinger is a reporter who has written about America's treatment of the mentally ill for years (she has been a Pulitzer finalist and is now a professor at the Columbia School of Journalism. more
Meg Kissinger, an award winning journalist, generously shares her personal history of growing up in a well-to-do family with seven siblings that harbored secrets. Until circumstances brought them a certain notoriety. Her focus has been on the silence and shame that surrounds mental illness, hoping that her own experience will encourage readers to view sufferers of bipolar disorder and Schizophrenia with as much compassion and understanding as, say, cancer. This memoir honestly approaches life with the afflictions in the house, and how it was not acknowledged. In fact, when a beloved sister ends her own life, their father insists the family reply that it was the result of an accident. more
This was a beautifully told tale of the impact and trauma of growing up with alcoholic and mentally ill parents and how one can stop the cycle of intergenerational trauma thru personal healing, forgiveness and love. Meg's investigative reporting background made her a perfect candidate to research her family history and getting buy-in from all her siblings was so gracious: "No Kissingers were harmed in the making of this book. " By sharing our stories, we give others permission to share theirs. Couldn't put it down and sobbed at the end and felt my own personal healing. . more
heart wrenching but beautiful and important. i’ll be thinking about this one for a while. more
This memoir is intimate. The first half fascinated me. Meg describes her family of 10 in such a way that you really feel like you know them. And then, things start going sideways. With depression and bipolar disorder touching so many people in one family, the reality feels weighty. more
From the outside, Meg Kissinger’s big Catholic family appeared to have it all. Behind closed doors, her family was plagued by mental illness. With dark humor and deep vulnerability, Meg shares the story of her traumatic childhood in her memoir, WHILE YOU WERE OUT: An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence After losing two of her siblings to suicide and reckoning with her parent’s debilitating mental illness, Meg pursued investigative journalism as a career to reconcile her trauma from the past and work to improve the systems that failed her family. Readers who enjoyed The Glass Castle won’t want to miss WHILE YOU WERE OUT. RATING: 4/5 PUB DATE: September 5, 2023. more
RTC as I have a lot to say about this. It was incredible. Huge thanks to Goodreads, their giveaway has in no way influenced my rating, nor was I under any obligation to review the book after reading it. . more
Thank you so much Celadon Books for my advanced copy and the chance to review it honestly. While You Were Out is an intimate and heartfelt story about mental illness. Meg Kissinger shares her family’s struggles and experience and it’s heartbreaking to say the least. I felt so many emotions reading her story and it’s a very eye opening tale. As a society we still have a long way to go with how we talk about mental illness but it is getting better and that leaves me hopeful. more
I could not put down this book. Meg Kissinger tells the deeply heartfelt story of the Kissinger family. This is a real story full of love, shame, misunderstanding, guilt, and generational trauma. We are treated to snapshots of the Kissinger family’s life - from the traumas 2 generations past, tender childhood memories, confusion and turmoil of teenage years, and ultimately a more complete personal understanding of Megs own life experiences. We are not fully able to understand the many horrid choices the Kissinger family made. more
I have mixed feelings about this book. I really wanted to love it, or at least like it more. This book has two parts. The first focuses more on the author’s family history, what it was like growing up in her family, and how her siblings interacted as young adults. The second part is more of a broad discussion on mental health systems in the United States and the authors experiences during her research. more
I had put off reading this one, waiting for the right mood. I was expecting an emotionally heavy and draining story. I didn’t get that here at all. We start out with excessive detail about the author’s family, going back to her grandparents’ lives, how her parents met, etc. Then we moved on to a list of her sisters and brothers, how they related—or didn’t— to one another. more
A beautiful and honest memoir. Thank you, Meg, for shining a bright light on a subject that is still considered by many to be embarrassing and/or shameful. "I learned how people with these crippling illnesses - major depression, schizophrenia, bipolar illness - are cast aside, ignored, even vilified. I knew only too well how we tend to blame them - or their families - for their sickness, as though they brought it on by some moral failure. " pg. more
The investigative public health reporting of Dopesick: Dealers, Doctors, and the Drug Company that Addicted America meets the family mental illness of Hidden Valley Road: Inside the Mind of an American Family in this memoir about a large Catholic family's suicidal trauma and its aftermath. This book made me feel less alone in my own family drama, as Kissinger tragically lost two siblings to suicide while enduring other familial illnesses including depression, bipolar disorder, and cancer. The author is genuinely curious about the "curse" that intimidates her surviving family members and uses her journalistic talents to spotlight the societal pitfalls that keep mentally unhealthy individuals in a state of vulnerability. I especially liked the author's audiobook narration, the cover, and the brilliant title. more
Outstanding—heartbreaking and yet there was always hope. Meg’s memoir brings alive the facts and misconceptions about living with and advocating for, individuals and families struggling to care for their loved ones. Years of research matched with her personal experiences bring insight into the advances in medical care, the systematic shortfalls in housing and the need for different support from law enforcement. The stress on caregivers and patients is immeasurable but commitment to making things better goes so far to improving outcomes. Meg’s labor of love will take you across the emotional spectrum. more
5**This book has to be one of the most difficult memoirs I’ve read, yet so crucial in explaining not only the rampant mental illness the journalist Meg Kissinger experienced with her family members, but how she was able to use her traumatic childhood to write effective, investigative articles that expose the societal gaps in treating those who suffer such debilitating illnesses. At first, it was a bit of a slow burn with each chapter hinting that the worst was yet to come. And then, slowly throughout in page after page, Kissinger builds the increasing crescendo of horror that makes you crash and burn as you essentially experience the vicarious trauma of alcoholism, severe depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, paranoia, and bipolar disorder of her family members. I am not exaggerating when I say that you will be exhausted and have to put this down quite a few times to process her overwhelming feelings - and yours. Kissinger’s resiliency is nothing short of a miracle to have survived, formed a meaningful and successful journalism career that shines the light on the challenges of treating mental illness, and chose - against all odds - to be happy and forgive. more
While You Were Out by Meg Kissinger If you are struggling with your mental health or know someone who is, I’d highly recommend reading Meg Kissinger’s memoir While You Were Out. It is amazing to see how far society has come in talking about and dealing with mental illness but it’s also sad to see how society has such a long way to go. In the 1960’s, when the book takes place, mental illness was not talked about as there was so much shame and stigma associated with mental illness. Unfortunately Meg Kissinger’s family was no different. Meg’s mum would suddenly disappear for days and months at a time and Meg had no clue where her mother was. more
If you liked Hidden Valley Road, you should read this one too. . more
✳ I recieved an ARC via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review ✳Absolutely heartbreakingly beautiful. Possibly one of the best explorations of trauma and mental illness, and how it affects a family over time. Seeing the author's insight into how deplorable the mental health sector is in America was genuinely infuriating. I'm really having a hard time capturing my thoughts on this book because of how stunning it is. Such an important read for anyone and everyone. more
Excellent. It really helped to paint a picture of just how taboo mental health issues were not so long ago. The mentality of keeping it all behind closed doors without explanation hinders the diagnosed from ever fully healing and learning to live with their ‘new’ self. The familial fallout is catastrophic, echoing down generations. Mental health issues should not be silenced but discussed. more
"While You Were Out" serves as journalist's Meg Kissinger's memoir, shedding light on her upbringing and family and the underlying motivation for much of her investigative work on mental illness. Growing up in the middle of 7 siblings in the suburbs of Chicago, Meg's upbringing could have followed the typical American storyline but became wrought with tragedy and loss, losing her sister Nancy and later her brother Danny to suicide, as well as both of her parents, Holmer and Jean, to cancer. Beyond just a simple recounting of her family's past, however, she looks into the underlying events and factors that contributed to these devastating losses - from the societal pressures for women to have large families, the unrestrained prescribing of drugs like Valium, the alcoholism that both of her parents succumbed to, and how overlooked and denied mental health and illness was during that time. In full transparency, this is a difficult read. Looking back on this period of time, especially as a woman, is especially frustrating - Kissinger shares just how tumultuous her childhood was with parents barely managing their own mental health (one bipolar and manic, the other struggling with severe anxiety) that was only compounded by substance addiction. more
N-am știut nimic despre ea când am început-o. Am ales-o pentru că m-a atras titlul și pentru că domeniul sănătății mintale e unul de interes pentru mine. Ce surpriză a fost. Ce frumusețe de carte. Ce de emoții transmite. more
Anyone who knows me knows I stay very, very far away from non fiction books. However, my friend who is related to the author convinced me to give this one a try and I’m really glad she did. The author is clearly an exceptional writer but what surprised me was the level of genuine heart and vulnerability. I went in wary because I was worried this would feel like a way to profit off of pain but it absolutely was not. Meg Kissinger comes from a family of 8 kids and she traces the history of mental illness that is a result of both genes and environment through her family tree. more
A poignant, gut wrenching, yet hopeful memoir about one family’s experiences with mental heath struggles. Kissinger, an investigative reporter, digs deep into her family history and life growing up in the suburbs of Chicago with her eight siblings in her Catholic family. The story is packed full of data on the lack of mental health care for the most vulnerable populations and the stigmas surrounding mental health issues. But the story also tells the devastating effects on the author’s family and real life stories of the impacts of mental health struggles. . more
Important, heartbreaking story of a family wracked by mental illness during times when it was considered shameful, was kept a secret, and understanding was lacking. The author is a prize-winning journalist who not only tells her story and that of her family, but also recounts some of the reporting that she has done on the treatment (and lack thereof) of those with mental illness in this country. The book was especially interesting for me having grown up in Wilmette. more
I really enjoyed reading this extremely personal account of the Kissinger family's lifelong journey with mental illness. I felt very connected to the characters throughout the entire book. Fair warning: there are a lot of triggers, depression and suicide are the main topics of this book. more