On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good
Elise Loehnen
A groundbreaking exploration of the ancient rules women unwittingly follow in order to be considered "good," revealing how the Seven Deadly Sins still control and distort their lives and illuminating a path toward a more balanced, spiritually complete way to liveWomen congratulate themselves when they resist the doughnut in the office break-room. They celebrate their restraint when they hold back from sending an e-mail in anger. They feel virtuous when they wake up at dawn to get a jump on the day. more
384 pages, Hardcover
First published The Dial Press
3.87
Rating
4647
Ratings
687
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Elise Loehnen
5 books 500 followers
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Another book that I read so you don't have to. I loved the concept of this book and preordered it without doing any research on the author. Two chapters in I was wondering why it was so deeply insipid and did a quick search - ah. It did not get better. If you are the type of person who has read and enjoyed the content on Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop, you will probably feel good about reading this book (you won't enjoy it but you will regard it as a useful virtue signal to have it on your shelf). more
I was surprised at how personal this is, and how good that makes it. The question Loehnen asks is fascinating to me. But being a mental guy, I was looking for info on the effects of traditional moralism on history, etc. Loehnen discusses some of that, but when she gets personal it's gut-punchingly powerful. What does it do to us when we presume that our basic needs for rest (sloth), role models (envy), self-respect (pride), nutrition (gluttony), ambition (greed), sexuality (lust), fairness (anger)—and an original eighth deadly sin, grief (sadness), should all be eliminated as much as possible. more
Thank you NetGalley for this ARC. Wow. Just wow. If you’re a woman, read this. If you ever feel anxious, read this. more
After finding out who Elise Loehnen is, the previous Chief Content officer for Goop, made me a little uncomfortable as Goop is a questionable company, as is its owner. I won't hold her accountable for the shittiness of said company, and owner, but I can choose to not read something by someone that worked so closely with such methods of thought. The idea of reducing women to a state of victimhood thanks to the Seven Deadly Sins (which is something that marginalizes all peoples, not just women) felt like toeing the line into TERF ideology. Made me massively uncomfortable within the first 30 pages. I can say I learned some cool things like about the Eight Thoughts, that it was taken and mashed into the Seven Deadly Sins by christians, taking away Sorrow. more
While touted as an analysis and history of the seven deadly sins, it is neither. Rather, it is mostly a therapy session with the author as she goes through her “struggles” with each sin and how “society” is holding her and all other women down. The book reeks of victimhood. It should be noted that the author is a highly accomplished Yale graduate with her own Netflix series and a fulltime nanny to look after her sons, so the premise that sins defined by a pope hundreds of years ago are holding her back and making her a victim seems suspect, at best. What little history that is included is excellent, while many of her facts are taken out of context or are misused. more
https://www. instagram. com/p/C0Jz9NZr0. An interesting exploration of the ways in which ancient rules and archetypes still continue to influence women’s behaviors and personas. With cultural, historical, and religious insight, On Our Best Behavior examines the long lasting gender roles enforced by the Seven Deadly Sins and other culturally backed societal guidelines, forcing women to strive for “goodness”, a centuries old struggle that continues to subtly morph in order to keep women feeling guilty about breaking convention. more
The author’s bio on Google reveals you all you need to know: “Elise was the chief content officer of goop. ” If only I had read that before checking this out. This book is a great idea. The chapter titles alone offer fantastic food for thought. However, in this author’s hands, this topic is better suited to a magazine article. more
I really wanted to love this book. If you're completely new to feminism or new to personal growth, this book may be eye opening. But, if you've done any reading or reflection unpacking toxic patriarchy or how society shapes us -- while there are some interesting researched tidbits, and the framing is an interesting premise -- I couldn't finish reading this book because it didn't cover much new ground. The book also had an awkward back and forth between analytical writing and memoir style writing. more
Ughhhh this book. I had such high hopes but it just wasn't what I was expecting. I really wanted the author to draw a direct line from these sins being codified to how people (especially women, trans, and BIPOC) are shoved in a box based on these expectations. It's not that, and that's fine. But this didn't hit the mark for me. more
I had such high hopes for this and girl…this ain’t it. The historical aspects of the origins of the Seven Deadly Sins and the influence religion has on women and the patriarchy were the most interesting to read about; but the author herself calls those chapters ‘dense’ and says ‘you can skip this if you want’. I’m not sure why so many have labeled it as groundbreaking. more
DNF - not sure how this book crossed my library list but as soon as the girlboss brand of feminism reached a certain level I decided to google the author… former chief content officer at Goop. Not exactly my go-to source for smashing patriarchal expectations of women. more
I dont know if I missed the memo on what makes this groundbreaking, or the memo on what made this engaging, but this really should have been an essay or something. I don't know if the discussions I've had with people on my life have already alerted me to some of the points she made, or what, but this felt dry and 'old news' to me. This books was so heavily hyped I thought there was going to be more to it. At least it's available at the library so I didn't have to feel regret for all the eye rolls and heaving sighs while battling to get through this. Good effort. more
Este libro es sumamente informativo. Puede llegar a ser muy interesante viéndolo desde una perspectiva feminista pero razonablemente creo que es un libro que habla de un tema humano en general. La forma en la que la religion ha moldeado lo que son los pecados capitales me voló la mente, el contexto histórico, los estereotipos generacionales, las culpas, los temores todo lo que la autora confronta es muy interesante. También hay que ver el lado cultural que influye en esta doctrina que se nos ha plantado (en mi caso) desde pequeños. ¿Quien hizo la medida con la que se determina si mi descanso es una necesidad física o si es mera pereza y por qué esta tan mal vista. more
A Fresh Take on an Age-Old ConceptIn the insightful and captivating book, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good, author Elise Loehnen takes a unique and thought-provoking approach to examining the societal pressures that women face. Through the lens of the traditional Seven Deadly Sins, Loehnen explores how these age-old vices manifest in the lives of modern women, revealing the high cost they pay for trying to meet impossible standards. This book is a must-read for anyone seeking to understand the complexities of being a woman in today's world and looking for a refreshing perspective on the challenges they face. Elise Loehnen's writing style is friendly, witty, and engaging. The tone of the book is conversational, making it feel like you're chatting with a close friend over a cup of coffee. more
Elise Loehnen was previously the chief content officer of goop and has co-written twelve books including five New York Times bestsellers. I was so excited to learn about her upcoming release. In On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and The Price Women Pay to Be Good, Loehnen provides her readers with a thorough history lesson on what the seven deadly sins are and where they originated from. She provides us with an understanding of the ways human beings are socialized and the cultural conditioning that informs the customs we live by. She reminds us that everything we've been taught and every belief we internalize as truth must be challenged and critically analyzed lest we perpetuate further harm towards ourselves and others. more
I liked the concept of this book but I think the execution could use some work. I agree with the criticism that this book was written exclusively for white, upper middle class women which felt ostracizing as a reader who is not white and is a shame because these systems of oppression and feelings of religious/societal shame could apply to every group of women. I also agree that is too personal although I don’t fault the author for sharing her experiences but it could’ve possibly benefited from being an anthology piece with many different writers. Towards the end it felt like she was rambling and kinda dragged on. This was a bold undertaking though and I liked that she included references to Christian historical texts and how it has been mistranslated to subjugate and erase women. more
Not at all what I was expecting. Made it halfway through before I could no longer take the Mel Robbins-ness of it all. If you're looking for a book that actually looks at the outcome patriarchy has has on gender roles and discrimination in Western society, a much better option is Invisible Women by Caroline Criado-Perez. That one actually uses data and references peer-reviewed studies, rather than anecdotes and Glennon Doyle quotes. Invisible Women is by no means perfect, but this is. more
This book contained a lot, so even though I wasn't enthralled the entire time while reading, there were a lot of individual pieces, e. g. quotes or two-sentence ideas that will change my life in small yet noticeable ways. I appreciate that the author was aware of her own identity throughout the book (as a cis hetero white woman) and attributed her arguments to her positionality. Reading this book was a wild mixture of "this is interesting," "well duh," "ok this IS written by a white woman," and "OMG MUST WRITE DOWN THIS IS SUCH A BRILLIANT WAY OF SEEING [insert any topic ranging from grief to sex fantasy to mary magdalene]. more
absolutely brilliant in every sense of the word. so thankful to have come across this title when i did. i encourage everyone to get their hands on this title. it’s truly changed my life, and one of the best books i have read this year if not in my lifetime. . more
'On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good" by Elise Loehnen, a well thought out and researched book, about how women strive to abide by the rules of the seven deadly sins in order to be "good". The book really digs in deep, explaining how we, as women, are not living "our best" lives because we are restraining ourselves due to these antiquated rules set so long ago. We were taught to live a life without lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride from a biblical and patriarchal society, causing women suppression of true self and happiness. A person who might have been raised to these standards may benefit more from this book, as it explains that you can still be a good person while not limiting yourself happiness. Though the book was very well written, and considerate of others outside of the author's personal demographic, I do not think I am the target audience for 'On Our Best Behavior'. more
This author references Glennon Doyle frequently, and I had the same issues with this book as I did with Doyle's. I agree with the VAST MAJORITY of what she says and found it both entertaining and empowering. BUT, I also think books like this are dangerous and sacrilegious as they skirt around the edges of Christianity and claim to be in line with God. We are not created to be our own divinity. We are divinely His and sin is sin. more
DNF'ing at 32%. It's written by a white woman for white women. which I am not. That's not to say every book I read I have to connect with deeply. But even at 30% there was no acknowledgement that the experiences of women of color differ from that of white women. more
This book was FOR me. This book seemed to fit perfectly into my heart and mind with the satisfying thump of a puzzle piece fitting into place. I think me and the author have been in a parallel book club for the past few years. Nearly every author and thinker she quoted in this book was one I too have read and resonated with. I didn’t know who she thought would vibe with this book but look no farther than this people pleaser. more
While there were some interesting ideas and history presented, I felt the book went a little “woo-woo “ at times. I guess that should have been expected given the author’s long association with Goop. There were some good take home points but many ideas that I easily dismissed as I guess I’m not “spiritually connected” enough. . more
Elise is one of the smartest people on issues like this and her book is a MUST for anyone who feels like they have to be "good" to be loved, respected, and seen. . more
Whether you take in her analysis of how women have been effected over their life time by society’s norms and being dictated by our patriarchal society or not. The resources the alarming facts are insightful and some what devastating. Having a daughter who is about to embark on her own life and going to college. I have always worried whether I have prepared her enough for her future years and the choices that I have made. On some levels I can say I am almost ashamed of some of the things that I have may portrayed and how they could be damaging to this culture of not supporting other women and isolating ourselves. more
I have a strongly-held no DNF rule, because I think there's something to learn even in books I dislike. That said, as soon as the term 'divine feminine energy' was said with a straight face, I knew I had to pull the rip cord on this one. more
I just really don't like the authors voice when writing. more
4. 5 Stars"On Our Best Behavior" by Elise Loehnen did not necessarily persuade me to believe that all of women's (and men's) problems can be traced back to the decisions of monk living in 500 BC and the subsequent Deadly Sins that followed, but I don't think that was necessarily the point, nor am I dissuaded of that that notion either. I felt like the overall message was to give yourself and other women (as well as men) grace. Speak up. Know your worth. more