How to Control Your Emotions at Work: Know When to Act or Ignore

There was a man riding on a horse. When a man walking on the road asks him where he is going, the rider replies, “Why are you asking me? You should ask the horse.”

The horse represents our emotional lives. We let the 'horse' take us to where it wants it to take us, especially if we feel afraid, nervous, etc. But little did we know that we have control. You begin to have influence on your horse once you master your emotions.

The ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions. -Salovey and Mayer (1990)

It manifests itself in the kind of statements we make about ourselves, in relation to our emotional skills and success.

Qualities such as confidence, awareness and optimism, come under the umbrella of emotional intelligence. 

• Attention Training: Strengthen mindfulness by focusing on yourself without being interrupted by other thoughts.
• Self-Knowledge and Self-Mastery: Being aware of the changes in your emotional processes and being able to see an emotion arising.
• Create Useful Mental Habits: Generate more positive emotions in others, by practicing a more pleasant emotional posture toward other people

The best managers have a high level of emotional intelligence, because they love people, and people love them in return.

People work harder for you if they love you, that's why being loved is good for your career. 

Emotional intelligence is trainable - you train your brain. 

Thanks to neuroplasticity, what you do, what you think and what you pay attention to changes the structure of the brain. So it is possible to change how your brain works.

1. Intentional Kindness: Looking at every person and saying to yourself, “I want everyone to be happy.” If you are thinking that, you will unconsciously show it with your manner, which transmits unconscious messages to everyone you work with that pleasantly disposes them toward you.
2. Human Similarity:  Seeing other people as people. This is especially useful in a situation of conflict ("This is a human being, just like me, wants to be happy, just like me and wants to be free from suffering, just like me").