The Secret to Stopping Fear and Anxiety (That Actually Works) | Mel Robbins

When you're afraid of something, such as flying, that will limit your ability to travel or visit friends. Likewise, if you're fearful of public speaking, fear will restrict your ability to express yourself and share your ideas. If you're scared of talking to your boss or asking for a raise, that will impact how much money you make.

Fear is exactly the same as excitement. Your heart races, you might sweat a little, and you might feel a tightening in your chest. Your body goes into a hyper-aware state.

The only difference between fear and excitement is what your brain is doing. Your mind is either working for you or against you.

• If you're excited, you think, "Oh, wow! This is going to be so cool to ride this roller coaster!"
• If you're afraid, your brain is going through, "No way! There's no way I'm doing that!"

A strategy to beat fear in a high-stress situation is to use the five-second rule in combination with an anchor thought. 

• The five-second rule helps you to switch gears in your mind. Count 5-4-3-2-1. 
• The anchor thought is reframing how you feel. For example, instead of feeling afraid to deliver a presentation, frame it as exciting. Or, if you need to have a conversation with your boss, focus on how you will feel after the conversation. 

Before you do something that really makes you nervous or afraid, count 5-4-3-2-1, then insert the anchor thought you've already come up with.