How To Choose A Partner Wisely

"We fall in love with those who care for us in familiar ways."

• As adults, we find ourselves rejecting certain candidates not because they're wrong for us, but because they're a little too right.
• We are unfamiliar with such rightness, it feels foreign and unearned.

"To choose our partner wisely, we need to tease out how certain compulsions to suffering may be playing themselves out in our feeling of attraction."

"It's your job to make your significant other happier — not happy, but happier. They should already be happy before they get into the relationship; it isn't fair to you that you be their source of happiness."

We are actually (only) attracted by people who have the style of love similar to our parent's in the past. And our choices are limited by that tendency, which sometimes result in toxic relationship. To choose a partner wisely, we should examine our past and free ourselves from it (e.g. When we have a toxic parent.)