Monkey Mind: Shifting the Habit of Feeling Distracted Throughout the Day : zen habits

Most people feel busy and distracted throughout the day - calm and focus and a feeling of purpose are fairly rare for most of us.

We're jumping from messages to social media to email to quick work tasks to a search for something we're curious about, from dozens of messages to dozens of posts to a couple doze browser tabs. All day long, one quick thing to the next, putting off anything that requires much more focus than that.

The term "monkey mind" captures this fairly well - our minds swinging from one branch to the next, jumping around without pause. It's not quite accurate (monkeys rests a lot of the time, and it's apes that swing from branches, not monkeys) ... but the image is vivid enough.

This is actually how our minds are much of the time, but it can feel stressful and unfocused. Many of us would like a calmer, more focused way of being, at least some of the time.

The first idea is that the monkey mind's activeness isn't an enemy to be slayed. We might not like the feeling of constant distractedness, but if we sit with the mind in meditation, we can see that this is just how the mind likes to behave. It's a habit, but also a big part of the nature of our mind.

So we can start to accept this jumping around nature of the mind, not as something to be battled, but as something to be befriended. Making friends with the monkey mind is bringing a sense of friendliness and warmth to our mind's nature. Being calm with it and not judging it. Gently encouraging it to come back to the matter at hand, not smacking it on the nose with a newspaper.

The second idea is that if we create a calm space for the monkey mind to jump around in, it will eventually settle down. Meditation is a good example of this - and in fact, providing a regular space for meditation is a good practice for being more settled and focused during the day. In meditation, we create a calm space - we sit still for a number of minutes, and let the mind settle down in the present moment. Of course, the mind jumps around in this space, but we don't necessarily engage it too much, and eventually it might settle down. Maybe not, but it tends to slow down a bit at least.

The second idea is that if we create a calm space for the monkey mind to jump around in, it will eventually settle down. Meditation is a good example of this - and in fact, providing a regular space for meditation is a good practice for being more settled and focused during the day. In meditation, we create a calm space - we sit still for a number of minutes, and let the mind settle down in the present moment. Of course, the mind jumps around in this space, but we don't necessarily engage it too much, and eventually it might settle down. Maybe not, but it tends to slow down a bit at least.

It's like a toddler throwing a tantrum - you can smack the baby on the butt, but that won't end the tantrum, it will only make it worse. If instead, we provide a calm, loving space for the toddler to scream and express their fears and pain, they will calm down and eventually just want a hug.

The third idea is that the fewer bright shiny things we give our monkey minds, the less jumpy the mind will be. Most of us feed into the jumpy habit of the monkey mind by giving it all kinds of shiny things to be distracted by:

• Email, text messages, messaging apps like Slack, WhatsApp, Messenger, Snapchat
• Videos on Youtube, Netflix, etc.
• Social media like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Reddit, etc.
• News sites, blogs, other interesting websites we like to visit
• Games, phone apps, doing searches for things
• Jumping around to small, easy work tasks

Of course, there's nothing wrong with any of these. But you can see that we're giving our mind's jumpy nature so many things to be interested in. The modern world, and technology in particular, is designed to distract and engage the monkey mind.

The more of that we can hide, the better. The mind doesn't need all of that in front of it, all the time. So just putting the phone out of sight, closing tabs, not having notifications on ... these simple things can help calm things down.

The last idea is that we can slow down, and pause more often. That might seem like a simple idea, but how often do we do it? Go slower, not faster. Breathe and let your nervous system relax. Un-tense your muscles, soften the front of your body, soften the jaw and temples.

Pause in between doing things - in between messages and emails, in between tasks, in between appointments and errands. Pause, breathe, and think about what matters right now.