10 Lessons From the Smartest Minds In The World | The Knowledge Project 127

• Loneliness is not only about wanting to feel connected with friends and family, it is also about wanting to feel connected with your government, your employer
• The more individualistic the society is, the lonelier it’s likely to be (neo-liberal capitalist mindset)
• Identity is not about what you believe, it’s about what you value (generosity, excellence, integrity, freedom, etc.)
• When you have a belief, you have two options: fall victim to an overconfidence cycle or subject it to a rethinking cycle

• 21 hours a week is the tipping point where gaming can get in the way of physical or mental health
• Video games before bed can help if you are struggling with negative thoughts or flashbacks
• Playing a game before bed will hijack the attention and visual center (Tetris is the golden game in clinical trials for studying these kinds of effects)
• All human behaviour is induced by the desire to escape discomfort; everything we do, we do for this reason
• The first step to becoming indistractable is to claim the responsibility for the uncomfortable sensations by mastering the internal triggers

When you are looked at as your potential, you feel the need and desire to grow into that potential.

Naturally, some people will let us down, but there is more value in believing in people than forfeiting because of a small percentage.

• Smiling at random people on the street: 95% of people will smile back, but 5% that will not respond or even frown
• We forfeit because of that 5%
• 5% of trying something only ten times feels like a heavy tax, but 5% of smiling a thousand times in the grand scheme of things makes it worthwhile

• Kat worked as a waitress at Hooters. Every Friday, a customer would order 50 chicken wings for him and his friends.
• After eating the entire plate, he would complain that 10 chicken wings were missing and ask for a discount.
• Because it happened every time, it was obvious that it was a scheme.
• Instead of fighting with the customers (as some managers and servers did), Kat would bring them 10 more chicken wings on her employee discount before they finished eating
• Everyone laughed because she beat the scheming customer at his own game
• He never complained again and gave her a big tip

What sets the championship teams apart?

• The ethos of the team and the organization
• The day to day work and knowing that you need to win
• The attitude of embracing tough situations
• Every team goes through a moment where they want to quit
• The biggest difference is in not quitting and doing your job

There can be no cracks between players, coaches, and owners or the media gets in and works their magic

It is a focused effort from everyone involved with the organization

What makes an effective coach?

• Being prepared and having a game plan
• Ready to deviate if the game plan is not working
• Having the ability to connect with the team and communicate with each member (including the staff)
• There is that fine balance of sticking with what you said you were gonna do and changing it when it’s not working
• The coach can only say the right things to get the right response, the rest is on the players

There is probably nothing more lonely than being in a bad relationship or a bad marriage.

Does technology make us feel lonely or do we use technology because we feel lonely?

In a landmark study conducted by researchers at Stanford University, a total of 3000 participants were observed (1500 were in the control group and the other 1500 deactivated their Facebook accounts)

• The group who went off Facebook for two months were significantly less lonely and happier 
• They actually spent more time doing things in person with friends and family

Other subsequent studies only supported this. Social media makes people feel more lonely.

There is a stigma in admitting you are lonely because the market for popularity has never been more visible

• You scroll on your feed, and everyone looks like they have more friends than you, have more fun, and are more popular
• There is something shameful about feeling like no one wants to be your friend
• Positive outcome about the covid experience – we are talking much more about loneliness

The truth is everyone is lonely: old, young, rich, poor, male, female, etc.

The more individualistic the society is, the lonelier it’s likely to be (neo-liberal capitalist mindset)

More individualism, more loneliness, more neoliberalism, more loneliness.

Why are people hesitant to rethink things?

• It makes the world feel much more unpredictable
• If my views aren’t fixed, “who am I?”
• How do “I” navigate this really confusing and turbulent world?
• It makes us feel like we are not the experts
• And a lot of us take pride in our knowledge

We need to give ourselves permission to enter rethinking cycles.

The rethinking cycle starts with intellectual humility, knowing what you don’t know despite your expertise in a given topic

Being aware of your ignorance leads you to doubt your convictions

It makes you curious about what you don’t know and that opens your mind to new discoveries

“I’m entitled to my opinion” is not a good way to end a conversation

If you decide to speak out, you have a responsibility to be open to changing your mind in the face of better logic or stronger data.

You will make mistakes; NASA didn’t make it to where it is by playing it safe

Rocket science is not low risk

Not being able to carry worries is a big leadership weakness

If a leader can’t handle worries, it will make the whole organization behave in a way that hides potential risks

• Some video games are designed to frustrate you and you have to adapt by learning new rules and interfaces
• You get better at learning new things; dealing with frustrating systems and adapting
• The result is that you get better and you build confidence in your ability to get better
• Every game does this to some extent, it’s not just about escapism or pastime
• Any game that’s designed to be challenging is going to benefit keeping the brain healthy and active

Procrastination is the inability to deal with emotional discomfort.

People have always been distracted, it’s not something that came with the iPhone or Facebook. The leading cause of distraction are internal triggers: boredom, uncertainty, fatigue, anxiety

• Craving, desire, wanting, lusting, etc., these sensations are psychologically destabilizing.
• The brain gets us to act by creating discomfort.
• The goal is to deal with the discomfort in a healthy way that moves us forward
• Do not run away from discomfort, harness it to lead you towards traction (the opposite of distraction)

Everyone has been creative at least once in their life.

What does it mean to be creative more than once?

• Extending yourself with empathy to the person you are seeking to serve
• Extending via space and time, into the future, announcing something that might or might not work

If you exert the emotional labour to do those two things, sometimes you will have a successful creative outcome (that is a choice).

• Your situation is not always fixed or set
• People have agency over their behaviour. You can change your situation intentionally.
• You can use different mental strategies (self-talk, how you frame things, etc.), but you can also change your actual situation; e.g. when you study, put your phone in another room, or choose a quiet place to study
• You cannot change that you are born into a certain family, but you can always change how you react to it
• It’s not 100%, but you have some control over your reaction
• People develop confidence when they have struggled to overcome hardships and come out victorious

• A great relationship is one where if you ask each person independently who benefits more from the relationship, they would each say “Well, I do.”
• This is because both people are putting into the relationship not for what they’re going to get from it, but for what they can give to it
• Because both sides are focused on giving, each side feels like a beneficiary
• The only way to have a really great life is on the relationship side
• In the end, it’s all about relationships and doing things you love with people you love