How To Get People To Open Up
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Reducing your personal filter
The reason we are afraid to open up, to share some things is the fact that we are afraid of how others will react.
If you want to make someone be comfortable in your presence and feel safe to open up, consider reducing the filter you use for "judging" the world around you.
Why we use small talk
So instead of talking about what we really want, we put on a sort of filter and spend the time discussing the weather, classes or sports, because all these are safe topics.
Share something weird
To show that someone is safe to open up with you, share something that is considered to be somehow weird. Just be careful to not seem too crazy.
Sharing something slightly odd about you will signal to the other person that you don't really care about what others think and also that you are not a judgemental person, so they'll feel safe in your presence.
Make sure your value is high enough
The higher your value, the easier it is to get away with saying something weird.
Assumption questions
You can use them to guide the conversation in a way that leads a person to open up.
- How they work: you make assumptions about someone based on your observations and see if you are right or not.
- How they help you: these questions show that you pay attention and care about what is being said. And if the assumption is wrong, they will react to it; you can use this reaction and start a new related conversation.
