10 Types of Negative Self-Talk (and How to Correct Them) | Nick Wignall

The way we talk to ourselves about the events in our lives is subject to the same laws of learning and habit formation that physical behaviors are.

That means we can learn to talk to ourselves in specific ways just like we can learn to tie our shoes or say please and thank you.

Our emotions are always mediated by some form of thinking. 

If our thoughts determine how we feel, that means how we habitually think will determine how we habitually feel.

It happens when we assume we understand what other people are thinking without any real evidence.

It is a failure of imagination because we often only imagine and focus on the negative aspects.

It is the habit of telling ourselves that a negative event is bound to continue happening in the future.

When we overgeneralize, we make predictions about the future based on isolated pieces of evidence from the present.

It happens when we take our own errors or flaws and exaggerate them.

We take small negative events and turn them into disasters in our minds.

it involves being dismissive of our strengths and positive qualities.

It keeps us in a cycle of feeling inferior because we never focus or enjoy our true positive qualities and accomplishments.

It is the habit of making decisions based on how we feel rather than what we value.

It's when we use our emotions and feelings as evidence for what we should or shouldn’t do. Depression and procrastination are common results of this.

It is the tendency to evaluate things exclusively in terms of extreme categories.

It sets us up for chronic disappointment: When our expectations are consistently exaggerated, we never meet them and then always feel bad about ourselves.

It involves assuming an exaggerated responsibility for things that are mostly or entirely outside our control.

And this leads to excessive attempts at control, which in turn leads to chronic stress and anxiety.

It is the habit of describing ourselves or others in one extreme way, usually negatively. 

It is always an inaccurate oversimplification.

• It can often be easier to identify examples of negative self-talk in other people first.
• Change your (inner) tone of voice.
• Validate your feelings instead of analyzing them.
• Be intentional, not habitual, with your self-criticism. Schedule a time to reflect on a perceived mistake or flaw intentionally.