The 4 Most Common Relationship Problems -- And How To Fix Them - Barking Up The Wrong Tree

The Four Horsemen of The Relationship Apocalypse:

• Criticism: is staging the problem in a relationship as a character flaw in a partner.
• Defensiveness: responding to relationship issues by counterattacking or whining.
• Contempt: acting like you’re a better person than they are.
• Stonewalling: shutting down or tuning out.

It means getting to know your partner really well, including his/her internal psychological world.

Ask questions, deep and personal ones. Get past“When will you be there?” or “Don’t forget to pick up milk.”

Admiration is about the story you tell yourself about your partner.

Masters see their partners as better than they really are. Disasters see their partners as worse than they really are.

The best predictor of relationship success is how you and your partner tell your “story of us.”

Do you focus on the negative aspects or on the positive ones?  Do you present your partner in a good light or in a bad light?

... is the most important part of a relationship.

How you start those serious relationship discussions predicts how the conversation goes. Start off positive and calm. And then listen.