Symptoms Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes of It

The most common symptoms are:

• Not trusting your own opinion
• Always overthinking
• Afraid to take on a challenge
• Hard on yourself but lenient with others
• Frequent anxiety and emotional turmoil

Lesser-known symptoms are being a workaholic, and either overachieving or underachieving.

Causes of low self-esteem are often traced back to negative early childhood experiences, such as frequent punishment or neglect, chronic abuse, bullying, and lack of affection.

We form our bottom line (how people treat us) in childhood. Based on the bottom line, we form our "Rules for Living," which are strategies for dealing with life.

• You expect people to mistreat you. When people are friendly to you, you can easily mistake it for love and scare them away.
• It makes you have a lower hand in the relationship. You may bear things in a relationship that you shouldn't stand for.
• Though you may be very gifted, you may not know how to show it and make it difficult for your employers to appreciate your talents. During a meeting, people with low self-esteem will keep quiet or speak weakly. During daily conversations, they say sorry and maybe too often.
• It can lead to depression.

• Ignore all those "positivity" advice. To hear "You're actually awesome" or "You should be more confident" does not help. It only makes you feel more inadequate or guilty of your behaviour.
• Focus elsewhere. There is no direct way to improve self-esteem. It is a by-product of a fulfilled life. Instead, pursue goals that really matter to you. Take care of the five levels of basic human needs, as described in Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

The five basic needs are physiological, safety, love and belonging, esteem, and self-actualization.

To focus elsewhere, it can be summarised as follows:

• Deep connection with loved ones
• A healthy body
• Sense of control
• A meaningful life purpose
• Recognition and respect from others
• Sense of security
• Creativity

As you equip yourself with the skills to fulfill the above needs, you'll forget about self-esteem. Then, one day, you'll find you've become a confident person.